Grow up self..

1 Corinthians 1:1-3
Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

Hebrews 5:13
Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.

Sometimes I can't really believe myself. I am offered such great opportunities and I give them up for such selfish things. I sit here watching Charlie Brown's Christmas (one of my favorite Christmas cartoons) and he complains about how commercial Christmas has gotton. Something as simple as a cartoon has just given me so much thought. I started off with realizing that Christmas is about Christ. The only gift I should care about the only gift that really matters is the gift of my eternal life...my relationship with God...and the fact that I can live knowing that I don't have to fear death. So many people I know do. It's crazy. I thank God so much for it. But really...am I doing my part? Am I faithfully devoting myself to learning more about Him.....studying His word..and praying to Him? My answer is no. I falter, I fail, I ignore the absolute truth that sits in front of my face daily. How much of my time have I spent wasted sitting in front of the computer playing tetris or playing guitar hero and rockband? And I know it's ok to play the video games but really like comparing amount of time spent on each one it's just crazy.
I can't do it alone. I can't just radically change my heart so I can be tuned on God most of the time (because I am not perfect and I will fail) I need God to help me. To help guide me through this mess called life.
But Life isn't always a mess. God shines through to me so much. I love when it snows because I can just stand there and stare at it for hours without getting tired of how He can just create something so beautiful.
God is indescribable. And i know that word is used a lot but it's true. I am in awe of how He can draw people to Him and just...wow there's so much I could say.

I know this blog was probably really confusing but it was just a bunch of thoughts I am trying to figure out.