Surrender

I don't know how many times I sing this song to cry out to God. I want to surrender everything to him. It's my prayer all the time.

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain

Grow up self..

1 Corinthians 1:1-3
Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly—mere infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere men?

Hebrews 5:13
Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.

Sometimes I can't really believe myself. I am offered such great opportunities and I give them up for such selfish things. I sit here watching Charlie Brown's Christmas (one of my favorite Christmas cartoons) and he complains about how commercial Christmas has gotton. Something as simple as a cartoon has just given me so much thought. I started off with realizing that Christmas is about Christ. The only gift I should care about the only gift that really matters is the gift of my eternal life...my relationship with God...and the fact that I can live knowing that I don't have to fear death. So many people I know do. It's crazy. I thank God so much for it. But really...am I doing my part? Am I faithfully devoting myself to learning more about Him.....studying His word..and praying to Him? My answer is no. I falter, I fail, I ignore the absolute truth that sits in front of my face daily. How much of my time have I spent wasted sitting in front of the computer playing tetris or playing guitar hero and rockband? And I know it's ok to play the video games but really like comparing amount of time spent on each one it's just crazy.
I can't do it alone. I can't just radically change my heart so I can be tuned on God most of the time (because I am not perfect and I will fail) I need God to help me. To help guide me through this mess called life.
But Life isn't always a mess. God shines through to me so much. I love when it snows because I can just stand there and stare at it for hours without getting tired of how He can just create something so beautiful.
God is indescribable. And i know that word is used a lot but it's true. I am in awe of how He can draw people to Him and just...wow there's so much I could say.

I know this blog was probably really confusing but it was just a bunch of thoughts I am trying to figure out.

Books I want to read list.

1. More of the Bible
I never feel like I get enough of the Bible. I really want to read more of it and look into the Old Testament more.

2. Tortured for Christ- Richard Wurrnbrand
3. More than a Carpenter- Josh McDowell
4. One Heartbeat Away- Mark Cahill
5. Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ- John Piper
6. Reread When I don't Desire God- John Piper
7. Suprised by Joy- CS Lewis (I'm actually reading it right now)

Hey, does anyone else have any suggestions?

I am A Soldier

I love this poem. God really showed me a lot of things that I need to change in my life. It was awesome that God led me to this when I was on the internet. It's kinda long. But worth it.


I am a soldier in the army of my God.
The Lord Jesus Christ is my commanding officer.
The Holy Bible is my code of conduct.
Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare.

I have been taught by the Holy Spirit,
trained by experience,
tried by adversity and tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this army,
and I am enlisted for eternity.
I will either retire in this army at the Rapture or die in this army;
but I will not get out, sell out, be talked out, or pushed out.

I am faithful, reliable, capable and dependable.
If my God needs me, I am there. If He needs
me in the Sunday school, to teach the children, work with the youth, help adults or just sit and learn,
He can use me because I am there!

I am a soldier.
I am not a baby.
I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, pumped up, picked up or pepped up.

I am a soldier.
No one has to call me, remind me, write me, visit me, entice me, or lure me.

I am a soldier. I am not a wimp.
I am in place, saluting my King, obeying His orders, praising His name, and building His kingdom!

No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards, candy or give me handouts.
I do not need to be cuddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to.

I am committed.
I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around.
I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside.
I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into this army, I had nothing.
If I end up with nothing,
I will still come out ahead.
I will win.

My God has and will continue to supply all of my needs.
I am more than a conqueror.
I will always triumph.
I can do all things through Christ.

Devils cannot defeat me.
People cannot disillusion me.
Weather cannot weary me.
Sickness cannot stop me.
Battles cannot beat me.
Money
cannot buy me.
Governments cannot silence me and hell cannot handle me.

I am a soldier.
Even death cannot destroy me.
For when my commander calls me from this battlefield,
He will promote me to Captain and then allow me to rule with Him.
I am a soldier in the army,
and I'm marching claiming victory.

I will not give up. I will not turn around. I am a soldier, marching heaven bound.




There is a bunch versions on the internet that I found too. But all were talking about the same thing. We are soldiers in the army. Christ is our leader, we have to obey his every command. He is commander in chief. And will withstand forever.

My newest "myspace about me"

Hello young earthling. I am confident that my "profile" is noted as "cool" and decided to "catch" your attention. Thank you for visiting. In brief here is just a few words about myself (realizing that this is the about me section of the "myspace profile"): my intelligence level is astounding and unimaginable, the fitness level of my body is altitudinous enough to beat most giants, beasts otherwise known as Michael Phelps. I find delectation in clouting a hard sphere, or as you humans call it "a ball", with a staff, otherwise known as "a stick". I believe this is to be known as "field hockey." Being a beast of the athletic creation and "pwning" all events, I bow my study on to a clamorous apparatus you fellow people call "a guitar." I find this word preposterous. In conclusion, mortals...I will "beat" your base (or for you of lower intelligence quotients "butt") at almost anything you aspirate.


This is all a joke. Thought you might enjoy!

God...shines through the hard times

Summer ended very quickly for me especially when field hockey season started... I really got bad at blogging during that time but hah that's according to God's will so let it be.
Summer taught me a number of lessons. Some were absolutely common sense and some came as a surprise....planning your summer out...don't even bother, don't even bother to make lists of things your gonna do..we don't know the future and only God does...letting HIM take control was one thing I absolutely struggled with...Being a goalie it's something you can have little control of or a lot. Most of the time it's in between.
You can't control how your team is going to play offensively but defensively you can guide them to control the ball. You can control how in shape you are, how good your clears are or how well you can angle up to the ball but you can't control the other team's fast breaks, power plays or slapshots....How often am I defending myself and God...how much will I step up to the plate?
School def gave me many reasons to desire God more and more in itself. It's so easy to blow up on someone for saying something you really dislike/ or doing something you don't agree with...jumping in on complaining..gossiping...etc
I can't even count how many times I have done that in one day itself

The title of my blog really doesnt explain what im writing about but the struggles I have gone through i sorta explained a little

My grandma is going through some really bad health issues right now. Her body is tired. I have never clung to God so much in my life.
I pray that in the good times and the normal times (if that is ever possible) that I can cling to him